“ ’Tis the season,” as people often say.

During this time of the year, the world begins to transform into a parade of cheer and merrymaking. Just about everywhere we turn, the joy of the holidays is on full display. Neighborhoods become brightly lit, stores are colorfully decorated and abuzz, and content on social media and television sends the message that we should want to spend time with family and friends and fully embrace the holiday spirit. 

The reality, however, is that for many people, this season is far from joyous. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) conducted a study in 2014 in which 64% of people reported that the holiday season made their mental health condition “somewhat” to “a lot” worse. Keep in mind, this was still a few years before the pandemic and increased political tensions across the country. Since then, the Surgeon General’s Advisory has warned that we are living through a loneliness epidemic. Additionally, according to a 2021 study by Pew Research, 59% of U.S. adults reported that talking about politics with people who have different opinions was “stressful and frustrating.” It’s not surprising why the holiday season can bring about much stress and challenge. 

What can the holidays bring up? 

Family Tensions: Holiday reunions can bring you together with family members whom you may have been avoiding or have complicated relationships with. Whether it is due to unresolved issues or disagreements about political beliefs, it’s not always peaceful when around family.  

Grief and Loneliness: The loss of a loved one can feel heavier during the holidays. It may have been your loved one’s favorite holiday and just may not feel the same without them. Perhaps seeing others spend time with their own family members while you are grieving your loved one can make you feel especially lonely. For others, spending the holidays with family and friends may not even be a possibility due to geographical distance or strained relationships. Lack of connection from meaningful relationships increases feelings of loneliness.  
Stress: Whether it’s pressure to host, the financial stress and expectations around buying gifts, or managing complicated family dynamics, stress can increase during the holidays.  

Mental Health Conditions: For some, Seasonal Affective Disorder (aka “seasonal depression”) is triggered by changes in weather or the length of days, such as in winter when days are shorter and we see less daylight. Other mental health conditions can also be triggered by any of the stressors mentioned above.  

What can you do for you? 

While this season can bring much joy and closeness, it is also normal if you do not feel cheerful about, or may even be dreading, the holidays to come. However, it is important to give yourself extra support during difficult times. What can you do to get through the holiday stress?  

Stay Connected: Reach out to friends or family whom you feel good around. Call, text, propose a meetup, or accept invitations from others. Avoid isolation, as this can increase symptoms of depression and other mental health conditions.  

Practice Self-Care: As stress increases, the use of useful coping tools often decreases if one is not mindful. Check in with yourself. What do you enjoy? What feels good? Be more intentional in making time to take care of yourself so that you are not neglecting your needs during this busy season. This includes eating healthy, exercising, restful sleep, and tending to your health.  

Set Boundaries: Recognize your triggers. Is there a topic of conversation that usually leads to feeling upset and attacked? Are you finding yourself socially exhausted because you can’t say no to requests from others? Notice what situations seem to be associated with feelings of discomfort and proactively set limits with others in a respectful manner.  

Be Aware of Alcohol Use: Alcohol use increases during the holidays, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA). While people may use alcohol as a way to become more social or “take the edge off,” alcohol is actually a depressant and, with increased use and time, will begin to lower inhibitions, slow down reaction times, and impact judgment. Be aware of your use of alcohol—try to limit alcohol consumption, make sure you are eating enough, and spend time with people you feel at ease around and whose company you enjoy.  

Strive for Sleep: Traveling and running a busy schedule during the holidays can often compromise the quality of our sleep. For many mental health conditions (i.e. Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD) symptoms can actually be triggered by poor quality of sleep. For this reason, try to maintain a sleep routine as much as possible. Limit phone use at night to get more restful sleep, set a reasonable bedtime that you can stick to, and incorporate breathing exercises or guided meditations to mindfully relax your body and mind.  

Help Others: According to the 2023 World Happiness Report, altruism, a person’s concern for the wellbeing of others, is positively correlated with one’s experience of well-being. Doing something to help others can result in more positive feelings and more satisfaction in life. Being the season of giving, this can be a time when you can identify causes that are important to you and get involved, whether it’s through an organization or simply helping others in your community (e.g. grocery shopping for an elderly neighbor, buying toys for children in need, volunteering at a soup kitchen) 

With the holidays just around the corner, it can feel like there is much to do, including making sure others are taken care of. Don’t forget about yourself. Take moments during this busy season to check in with yourself, let go of what “should be,” and accept where you are right now. Taking steps to manage overwhelm and depletion is the best gift that you can give yourself.  

References

• National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI)—Tips for Managing Your Mental Health During the Holidays
• “The Most Difficult Time of the Year” (NAMI)
• “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation” (HHS.gov)
• “Republicans and Democrats alike say it’s stressful to talk politics with people who disagree” (Pew Research Center)
• “The Truth About Holiday Spirits” (National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism)
• “Doing Good and Feeling Good: Relationships Between Altruism and Well-being for Altruists, Beneficiaries, and Observers” (World Happiness Report)